Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Boredrem
This emptiness inside of me.
The loneliness.
Suddenly i had this thought of love.
But somehow I'm hiding that feeling away.
Can say this is one of my worse stoning and loner day.
I really don't know what to do and somehow whatever i do seems so boring or stupid
I don't wanna game.
But i don't wanna sleep
I don't wanna stay at home
But i don't wanna spend money.
So i spent my entire day at home doing nothing
Pure nothing i dint gain anything.
Probably only lost valuable time.
People say after you enter army you'll become a man.
I'm gg 18
Every boy becomes a man at 18 when he enters army and changes.
Am i ready?
Am i going to become someone better?
Why do i feel so held back and left out?
Tomorrow working again.
But somehow inside of me i don't wanna do anything.
If you need me call me.
If you don't need me just put me in a corner and open me up when you need me.
Its like a tool.
Today is just a super boring day.
Time passing so slowly
Yet inside me feels its flying so quickly
I mean my mental state is like time is passing so fast.
But my physical state is so restless -.-
Darn why did i have to divide myself up -.-
Everything seems so dead.
I feel so lifeless.
I'm following a cycle.
I've no life and yet I'm trying to prove something that's not even really me.
Right wrong.
Time passes.
I sit alone dazing into the open.
Out into the empty space.
I look behind me.
I see this girl.
I ask myself if she wants me would i go?
Is that really called love?
Or would i look ahead and walk back out into the boredom of life?
I turn but she's gone.
Another person walks by.
And another.
All these people are all old already
These dad's and mom's
I don't see anyone anymore.
Where am i?
Why am i in the wrong group?
Questions run through the mind.
A friend, An online friend comes.
You know her you recognise her.
Because you like her for a very long time already.
I like her i really do.
She's really like a dream.
But she's not interested.
I watch her pass.
She does not even remember me.
Forgotten. Just passing by another stranger.
You start to wonder what am i really doing?
What are you looking for?
Why do you want to live?
Sadness and this plain field ahead.
"treat others how you want others to treat you"
"Who cares what you think you are you make yourself happy"
But whats happiness?
Where, How can you achieve it?
Whats love to you?
Just another passing day.
Time passes
The sky darkens.
And tomorrow the sun will rise again.
Is it going to be another cycle of life?
Following the wind..
I'm tired..
I don't want this anymore.
What can i do. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Squinting on.
Age-ing happens.
You start to see whats the meaning and you start to understand life.
But is understanding and knowing gonna get you through?
Whats gone is gone.
Its gone.
Just another emo-ing day.
Ravey blogged @ 10/08/2008 07:29:00 PM