Thursday, August 27, 2009
Okay we'd get the best platoon.
Sian i reported sick once den in the end cannot go for nights out.
Why must i do the "best thing"
But yet get this kinda treatment.
Anyways they let me out for awhile though.
^^ Guess i've built quite alot of trust among my commanders.
Yesterday went for chalet at NSRCC.
WTF 1 night 300++?
Does not matter. ^^ Its a great place.
Though its not really good enough to accommodate so many people?
At least to me.
God dammit. They're so fucking filthy and messy.
Dam sick -.-
Irresponsible fucks.
At least some people know how to clean.
Least i know that i'm the only one feeling awkward.
Pondering about alot of things b4 i go back to camp.
24/08/2009-
On the way back to camp "thoughts/mind waves"
-If all i can do is watch. I'd admire you from the sideline
And give you what i can.
What more can i give you when you seem like you've everything you need?
When people have a choice.
Naturally they'd pick the best.
To be the best you've to have to best?
Unfortunately i cant stand at the top with you.
I don't deserve it either.
Still i'd want to see you.
Admiring what i love.
A passion, A dream.
23/08/09
-Somehow i'm remembering.
Not really what i want
Why is it always about the past that people now adays emphasising on now.
And not how we should gradually move on towards the future?
Moving slowly is better than not moving at all
The question is how do we know if we're really moving
When every time we feel different.
Everything can just change instantly
Being stuck physically does not goes the same for everything
Mentally challenged and tested against time, surroundings and similarities.
How does a trapped person remain positive?
How does one take its worse and say its okay.
Getting discriminated and to forsake happiness.
Just because there was no choice.
Overwhelming questions.
Scarce answers
Its like being on a roller coaster.
You just keep going up and down.
Along the same way.
The same up's and downs everyday.
And end up at the same end everyday.
Got to go liao.
Somehow what we do.
What we think.
What we decide to do.
Really changes us.
I should really start being firm.
And "overpowering"
I need to be decisive.
And take the responsibilities into my hands.
Not taking what people not want.
And just laugh it off.
-I'm feeling.
Ravey blogged @ 8/27/2009 07:49:00 PM
Sunday, August 23, 2009
next phase OVER
YESS.
Platoon prof test is OVERR.
YES!! and alot of other things are yet to come.
YES! We're gonna be the best again? I think i hope.
Actually it does not matter.
Somehow i don't know whats wrong with my mind set.
Here i want.
There i don't want.
Then i have.
But I'm not satisfied.
We're humans. We've feelings.
I want. I need. I desire.
I do my best. I try my best. I work my hardest.
I play my part. For what?
I don't know I'm jealous.
But i know . Somehow, Someway, Sometimes.
Probably never will i be a perfect person.
There's nothing perfect.
Only BEST. There's nothing perfect.
maybe to you yes.
But coming to a debate.
Whats necessary in life are always imperfect.
But its how we see it that makes it perfect.
You'd be the perfect person in my life.
But you'll never be the one.
I don't know why.
I want to have a chance in life.
But I'm only known as a failure.
Somehow losing is just part of my life.
I cant win.
I cant be at the top.
Who wants to be with a loser.
A dumb person. A person who can only be there.
Physically. Soundly. But not being there in any other state that can ensure.
Security.
I'm weak. Powerless. Brain dead?
I'm poor. Alone. Empty.
I'm everything negative.
What positive and good points do i have?
I really don't see anything rewarding.
I'm just a support character.
A stepping stone.
A person who does his "best".
Only to fail and get throw away after satisfaction.
Somehow. Who really does enjoy being with me?
Probably nobody.
I'm not being negative.
I'm stating the facts.
I don't know is it me?
My attitude? My mentality? Or my background.
that keeps everything so unstable.
None the less.
I wont make a stupid decision.
I wont hurt anyone.
I wont let people who "respect" me down.
I will never forget.
I will never regret.
The things that I'll do.
Decisions are the things you need to make and do.
Make a good one.
And live it to the fullest.
Time is being wasted.
18 years on this earth.
18 years of food water and resources.
And nothing has been contributed back.
How many more years till i finally become useful?
Helpful. A part of society?
Is this fate or destiny?
Or is this my own stupidity and loneliness?
I just want to find someone there.
Ravey blogged @ 8/23/2009 12:07:00 AM
Monday, August 10, 2009
Okay i'm officially running low on cash.
Stupid army! Pays like 20 cents per hour.
Knn -.- Subscribe for so much stupid shit.
LOL never minds ^^
Anyways. Alot has happened?
I think. Best section for battalion
I've passed my SOC- Standard obstacle course.
Spending alot of money on un necessary shit
Playing maximum tune. (quited today anyways) -.-
Arghs just a waste of time and shit loads of money.
Should save
MUST SAVE.
Sighs.
I'm going crazy. Too much to handle.
Somehow i dont know what i'm doing.
I dont wanna do this.
But i know i have to do it.
Platoon proficiency test coming up this weekend.
Got to prepare.
I'm not ready for this.
But i'll do my part.
Not for myself.
But for my section commander.
And my section mates.
I dont care what people say anymore.
Neither do i care. Thats why i have my new headphones to lock out all
"unnecessary shit noises" and "unwanted pollutions" from my head.
Ahh what else? I dont know la.
What am i searching for?
What am i trying to do.
What do i want to do?
Sighs. Suddenly answers are necessary.
Ravey blogged @ 8/10/2009 12:07:00 AM