Thursday, November 6, 2008
let nature take its course
Went cycling again today.
Cycled to esplanade.
But this time i decided to take a break
Thinking of where to go.
I stoped at the water bay.
Looking at the trickling water flowing.
The waves.
Memories flooded me.
I'm a guy. A "man"
I must be strong and do the right thing.
Whats the right thing to do than?
Than again i decided to avoid the question as i don't want to be traumatised any further.
Than as i look on.
I thought back.
I promised.
I promised Belinda. I promised Zhiwei.
I Broke all my promises.
Not because i wanted to right?
Maybe i did.
But how much a choice or what is the better thing to do?
Belinda is overseas. And its probably better for me and her.
Though i know I've hurt her and probably myself.
Zhiwei just kept saying how much I've lied till i don't even know whats true
None the less i don't really care
Just memories that came to my mind.
Thought about the girl i like.
Felt like calling her.
But remembered i dint bring my phone.
My phone is like dead.
It does not ring.
It does not move.
Its more like my MP3.
Imagined that i called her.
SO and So. Heya just decided to drop you a call
You free?
Probably not. But hey spare me at least 2 mins k?
I know this'll sound stupid.
But since when have i ever spoken sense right?
Lol you can choose to ignore not to speak
Call me an idiot or just not talk to me anymore or something
But i just wanna tell you that i think about you all the time and i don't know why.
I don't even know whats love or how to love.
Whats right or wrong
What i should do and how should i do things.
I don't want to lie. But neither do i want people to worry or see me as weak.
Am i weak?Physically? Mentally? Emotionally?
haha this is probably going to take more than 2 mins of your time heh.
But.. Hiax. I just want to just say this out.
So no matter what happens. I know I've said my piece and i know after I've said this i probably wont think so much anymore
Fear of everything. Fear of having no one there.
I'd probably get used to it.
I think i already have.
But still i want you to know.
Someone thinks about you. Someone cares about you.
Someone wants to be there for you.
And probably love you.
But that someone is so stupid he'd probably hurt you.
Make you feel stupid
Or probably waste your time than you could spend with someone much better.
Hahaha. I feel so miserable now. So stupid. Maybe because i am.
Right? hahahs.
Okay ba you go back study all the best for your O levels. That's all i wanna say.
*and just hang* b4 she can even reply.
Knowing if i did that
She wont even send me a msg or anything
But I'd feel like a total idiot.
Am i really gonna do it?
Time'll tell.
Working tml .
Gonna game. Gonna bathe.
Gonna relax and waste my time.
Till than I'll be thinking of you.
And emo-ing in the dark.
Wondering why must it be this way.
If its meant to be let it be.
"let nature take its course"
Ravey blogged @ 11/06/2008 07:07:00 PM