Monday, January 19, 2009
I've no life.
I've no reason to lie.
Why do i keep doing these emotional mind set games with myself and others.
Why do i keep thinking about things which are not true.
And make myself believe in the things which are not.
So many stupid questions.
Was thinking of charmaine today.
Suddenly she msged me want to return me my bag.
Was kinda stumped.
But anyways i dont know.
I dont feel like doing anything.
Wells we'd probably meet up for lunch or something.
But whats the point.
Today i also asked Hilda this question.
If you love someone and that person is already engaged.
And that person is probably happy with the one she's with.
What would you do?
I'd just give up and find my own happiness.
Where do i find that happiness?
I wish i could ya know.
I'm not good looking or smart or anything
Who would want a stupid guy like myself.
I mean i want to be able to look after the one i love and stuff.
Hiaz. I made so many personal promises.
But than again i cant keep so many again.
So many things i've to do
But yet i cant
I'm getting old. I'm losing control.
I'm not going to be able to absorb and turn back the time.
Even if i really want to.
How do i put the pieces together.
Love eh? What is love?
I want it but yet i cant have it.
I might get it but yet i turn it down.
What is love? Its a feeling right?
So many things running through my head.
All the mixed up feelings.
How can i get myself and things straight?
Charmaine. What is it that i should do?
Tell me. I really want to know.
I just want to give it all up.
You know . God i think you're showing me an answer to my questions.
You're showing me the opening.
I want to see her
You're giving me that chance.
How am i going to take that chance and settle this problem?
Its all up to me aint it?
Its all already in ur hands. Isin't it?
My own as well.
I wont be in for a positive answer.
But i just want to know how far i can go
What is the limits of my self.
How far and long can i wait.
How much i can hold on to this love i think it is.
I just wanna be there.
No matter what it is.
There with you.
Making you smile and be happy.
But if i cant forfill that.
I'll just have to sink to the bottom and blind myself within the darkness.
And just forget..
And just forget about everything
There's an answer.
But which is the best option and answer to choose?
Tell me why am i stuck.
Its all my own fault and problem aint it.
I just wish the mistakes people make.
The person you love.
Will not be falling into a physical love.
And a love thats within the heart instead.
I just wish you to love w/o regrets.
Live life without regrets.
Thats what life is.
Its about living it to the fullest.
Without regrest.
Ravey blogged @ 1/19/2009 02:14:00 AM