Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Thinking about what Sylvie said.
Yea yea i know what i'm doing and stuff.
Please la -.- I know what i need to do
But somehow the way you say things
Just always make me seem like i'm in the wrong.
Or i'm just saying this to irritate you or piss you off.
But somehow its like you cant seem to find the intention between my lines.
And cant you just like tell me straightforwardly.
Instead of how you always do things of going one big round?
I can sense alot of emotions and frustration and just that stupid feeling.
But what i can i do much about this right?
Anyways -.- I dont really wanna think so much.
As long you know what you're doing.
Feel good about yourself.
Be confident.
Live life happily.
Let me know you're happy or if i can help you in anyways.
Just do it.
I'll be there and stuff what so ever.
Life sucks to a certain extend.
Unless we can spend it with someone thats there for us.
I wont say i want you.
But i just want you in a certain way
As my friend.
But somehow..
We seem so distant.
Therefore i must just let my arms out and just.
Let go because.
I dont wish to have any misunderstanding between us.
I dont wish to have any wrong idea.
We miss each other.
Nothing much about that.
We were almost an "item" once than what?
You were my 1st in alot of things b4.
I did alot of stupid things.
But i never regretted.
I still keep the shoes we went to buy together.
I still have the memories.
I still remember .
But whats the point right?
Till today somethings change somethings dont.
You seem to have grown and changed.
Abit in the positive way.
I'm glad.
But still its not enough?
Or maybe it is just that i'm not the type of person that can help you.
You're just too "high" and i'm just someone trying to help you to my best.
But my best?
Is not being accepted by you.
You either dont want to accept it?
Or you just have other plans.
I dont blame you
I know i'm so dam freaking pathetic.
But than again.
I dont care what others or you think.
I just want to know that i've done a part in helping.
No matter what i've helped with.
I know i've tried and did what i could.
You can say i'm bad. I'm not good or just trying to force something outa us.
But you're wrong because thats not what i want to do.
I cant control myself
I dont know whats wrong.
Somehow i know its not right to be lustful or whatsoever.
But you know its just that when you've held that persons hand b4.
And that person is like so close to you.
You just want to hold it and feel safe.
I dont know -.-
Sighs. Security and Company.
Its so hard to mix things up.
But yet.
Its so simple to just let our bodies just run with the flow.
But yet we cant.
Bringing back the topic i said in my previous blog.
Desires vs necessities.
I Desire you.
But i dont need you because you're not meant for me.
But yet.
I dont know -.-
Whats love ?
Seriously?
If you've feelings for me
And i've feelings for you
Is that love?
A crush?
Or just some kinda intimacy that we desire?
Just dont wanna think about this ya?
You're just sooo outta my reach.
This is just so stupid.
I'm just so stupid -.-
I wish i could be stronger.
Smarter. Tougher.
I want to do more.I want to help more people.
But i'm just too helpless myself.
Feel like just giving up.
Ravey blogged @ 1/06/2009 09:10:00 PM